Atheism is Not Satanism

Clarifying Common Misconceptions

Mar 20, 2025

In a previous article, Atheism is Not a Religion (link at end of this article), we outlined five key characteristics that distinguish religions from atheism using the “5S” mnemonic: Sacred, Supernatural, Ceremonies, Symbols, and Scripture. (yes that’s a “C”, just go with it)

Building on this framework, we turn our attention to another common misconception: atheism is Satanism.

While both are often misunderstood, conflating them is a bit like confusing a book club with a cult just because both involve reading. Below, we apply the same “5S” lens to examine this misconception.

1. Sacred

Satanism

Even secular Satanist groups (e.g., The Satanic Temple) designate concepts like rebellion, individualism, or Enlightenment values as sacred. Symbols such as Baphomet or inverted pentagrams are revered—not unlike how corporate executives revere the same PowerPoint template they’ve been using since 1997.

Atheism

No inherent sacredness exists. Atheists may value scientific inquiry, human rights, or art, but these are secular priorities—never imbued with divine or metaphysical significance. You will never hear an atheist whisper in hushed reverence, “Behold, the blessed periodic table.”

2. Supernatural

Satanism

- Theistic Satanism: Accepts supernatural beings (e.g., Satan as a literal deity).
- Atheistic Satanism: Rejects literal supernaturalism but uses Satan as a metaphor for critique, rebellion, or human potential—essentially turning Lucifer into a literary device with an attitude.

Atheism

Rejects all supernatural claims. Period. End of sentence. Satan, as a supernatural figure, is as relevant to atheism as Zeus, unicorns, or the notion that a printer will work when you really need it to. (although printers do seem prone to possession)

3. Ceremonies

Satanism

Rituals like “unbaptisms,” solstice celebrations, or public protests (e.g., placing Baphomet statues alongside Ten Commandments monuments) are common. These acts reinforce identity, community, or ideological critique. Not to mention black mass hexes.

Atheism

No ceremonies define atheism. Secular gatherings (e.g., solstice parties, secular weddings) exist, but they lack doctrinal or symbolic ties to spiritual rebellion. The closest thing to an atheist ceremony is probably a heated debate over the latest “The Daily Heretic” (link at the end of this article).

4. Symbols

Satanism

Relies on provocative imagery—sigils, inverted crosses, black robes—to signal opposition to religious hegemony or celebrate taboo-breaking. Think of it as religious aesthetics meets performance art.

Atheism

Symbols like the cursive ‘A’ or Darwin fish exist, but they’re optional identifiers, not sacred or ritualistic. Most atheists use no symbols at all, unless you count coffee mugs with Carl Sagan quotes.

5. Scripture

Satanism

Guided by texts like The Satanic Bible (LaVey) or The Seven Tenets (The Satanic Temple), which codify ethics, rituals, and philosophy.

Atheism

No central texts. Atheists draw from diverse sources (science, philosophy, secular humanism), but none hold doctrinal authority. Richard Dawkins' The God Delusion is widely read, but no one fears eternal damnation for skipping a chapter.

Why the Confusion?

The error stems from a flawed binary: if atheists reject God, they must “side with His adversary.” This assumes Satan is atheism’s default antithesis—a nonsensical premise, since atheists reject all supernatural entities, including Satan. By this logic, a refusal to believe in the Tooth Fairy must mean a secret allegiance to the Easter Bunny.

Meanwhile, Satanism—even its atheistic strains—intentionally adopts religious trappings (rituals, symbols, communities) to critique or parody faith structures. Atheism has no such agenda. The typical atheist response to religion isn’t a dramatic, pentagram-laden ritual—it’s an eye-roll.

In Summary

Atheism is simply the absence of belief in deities. Satanism—whether a literal faith or a secular movement—is an active ideological stance with rituals, symbols, and community.

While theistic Satanism is undeniably a religion, atheistic Satanism sits in a gray area—rejecting the supernatural yet sometimes adopting religious elements for legal, philosophical, or theatrical purposes.

The Satanic Temple, for instance, claims religious status when challenging church-state violations, while the Church of Satan prefers to frame itself as a philosophy, not a faith.

Remember the 5S mnemonic:

Sacred, Supernatural Ceremonies with Symbols and Scripture are not atheism (yeah that’s a ‘C’ but luckily this is just a mnemonic, not dogma)

Atheism isn’t rebellion against a god—it’s indifference. Satanism, by contrast, engages directly with religious frameworks, even when rejecting their supernatural claims. Understanding this distinction fosters better dialogue, dispels stereotypes, and—if nothing else—prevents the awkward moment when someone asks an atheist, “So do you, like, sacrifice goats?”

For a limited time I am offering printer exorcisms. 😈👻🖨️⚡

Just make a pledge for the paid subscription, and then leave a comment with the make and model and a description of said demonic activity, which might include:

Symptoms of a Possessed Printer

Demonic Paper Jams
– Feeds paper backward, sideways, or refuses to acknowledge paper exists despite a fully stocked tray.
Cryptic Error Messages
– Displays ancient runes like “PC LOAD LETTER” or “ERROR 666: DEVICE IN INFERNAL MODE.”
Ink Sacrifice Demands
– Claims it’s “out of cyan” moments after a fresh cartridge install… then prints entirely in blood-red.
Phantom Noises
– Growls, hisses, or plays Gregorian chants at 3 a.m. while powered off.
Possessed Connectivity
– Only prints when you’re not looking, or sends documents to the office printer three time zones away.
Self-Aware Defiance
– Prints 19 copies of a single page when asked for one, then smugly replies, “TASK COMPLETED.”
Possessive Paper Trays
– Mysteriously spits out three blank pages at the end of each document.
Ego-Driven Sabotage
– Prints flawless documents for your coworker but adds ink smudges to your printouts.
Passive-Aggressive Speed
– Prints at 0.0001 pages per minute… unless you threaten to replace it, then works flawlessly.
Auto-Corrupting Text
– Replaces key words in your thesis with “REPENT” or “HELLO, DAVE.” (this one is pretty serious you should probably just burn it in a fire)